Do You Carry a "Cosmetic" or "Make Up" Bag?

I don't carry a "cosmetic" bag because I apply my cosmetics in the morning in such a way that touch-ups are not necessary.

I do, however, carry a "make up" bag. It contains the 7 things I need to function throughout the day:

1. Lotion to "make up" for the fact that my hands need hydration.
2. Hand sanitizer to "make up" for the fact that soap and hot water are never readily available.
3. Tissue to "make up" for the fact that no one else has it when you need it.
4. Eye drops to "make up" for the fact that my tears are sometimes slow at doing their job.
5. Mints to "make up" for the fact that fresh breath is not optional but necessary at all times.
6. Cayenne Pepper caplets to "make up" for the fact that my metabolism is close to retirement.
7. Beano to "make up" for the fact that "natural gas" never smells like roses.

What bag do you carry and what's in it?